Happiness from within

“Happiness comes from within. It is not dependent on external things or on other people. You become vulnerable and can be easily hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend on the behavior and actions of other people. Never give your power to anyone else.”

-Brian Weiss

                                         

 What a powerful quote! It speaks such truth, yet I see a flaw. As much as I agree that happiness comes from within, how can one be truly happy if they are surrounded by others who do not share the same optimism? Do you cut the "Debbie Downers" out of your life? Is hurting others at the expense of your own happiness really being happy? I get the "you only live once", and I totally agree that  "life is short", as cliche as that all sounds, yet I can't help feel as though true happiness comes with a price. 

Society paints a picture as to what "happiness" is. Happiness is wealth, marriage, children, a good career, vacations, etc... But in my mind, happiness is love, understanding and appreciation. Being spontaneous, and silly is something that will guarantee me a good time. To some, that is immature and childish, but to me, living life to the fullest is my idea of happiness.  A spur of the moment trip to the city, or an unplanned dinner party with my friends and family are things that I cherish. I find that my "ideas" of happiness do not match up with others, and frequently I feel as if I am letting them down. The sense of disappointment  I feel  because I choose to let things go doesn't seem to fit into "Never give your power to anyone else". The guilt I sometimes get for having the belief that laughter and memories are more important than anything. For instance, if the weather is nice, I choose to go to the beach instead of do laundry... My responsibilities will still be there at the end of the day, and as much as I loathe laundry, it will get done.. My happiness comes from that quality time with my daughters, not from the satisfaction of folded clothes. In such a situation, there is the chance that someone will not share in my free-spirited thinking and there will be a disagreement, which will totally ruin my "happy" for the day.

I guess what I am trying to say is that as much as I would LOVE to believe that true happiness comes from within, I also believe you are a little dependent on others. Ideas of happiness vary, and everyone has a different perspective. Surrounding yourself with people who have a different attitude will not allow you to ever be truly happy. I just do not see how that is possible.. someone will change... either their outlook on life and their personal definition of happiness, or their outlook on relationships. There is that "cost" I was talking about. Nobody should ever change who they are for another. One person's happiness is never superior to the others. Where is that middle ground? Is compromising part of happiness? Is that really being true to oneself? This is where the confusion lies in the previous quote.. this is the flaw I see. I could be over thinking this a bit,  I am notorious for that, but I would just love to hear, see or be told something that makes more sense.

I am going to search for that perfect "win-win" situation, where I am free to be me, and pursue my happiness.. without putting an expense on anothers...